Peter Gallagher on Conan!
On June 22, 2002 Peter Gallagher was a guest on the Conan O'Brien show. The following is the transcript from the interview.
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Conan: All right everybody, my next guest has been in dozens of films, including American Beauty, and sex, lies, and videotape. He's currently starring in Noises Off on Broadway and starting next Friday, he can be seen with Adam Sandler in Mr. Deeds. Please welcome Peter Gallagher.
Ah, look at that, that's called the soul patch, what is that, that's not even a soul patch, that's like ...
Peter: It's a soul ...
C: It's a small rim of hair on your bottom lip.
P: Yes, exactly, yeah you know ...
C: You're like a beatnik, Daddio ...
P: I'm trying, I'm trying, I want people to think I'm cool. I'm growing it for my next job ...
C: Oh, OK.
P: Which is sort of a, I play Mandy Moore's father, and I'm a source of great humiliation for her so I thought what better way than ...
C: You know, what's weird is that most people that see you don't know you're preparing for a role, they just think that you've grown that because you, Peter Gallagher, thinks it's cool.
P: Yeah, exactly, you know, my on-ramp for my mid-life crisis, it's a little two-tone, a little two-tone.
C: You got some grey in there.
P: The grey started like on my chest and it's just moving up ...
C: No one needs to know that. That was not a question that was asked.
So, wait a minute, it started low and it's moving up slowly?
P: No, no, no, it's like a glacier, really, and it's kind of moving slowly up.
C: Wait, so you're saying there's chest hair here that's black and then there's stuff here that's white.
P: It's sort of mixed up here a little, and it's moving up and my hairs are like the eyebrows are like the last line of defense before, you know ...
C: You're hoping the eyebrows catch the grey before they ....
P: I'm figuring I got years before I'll have to worry about my hair going.
C: You do have the best eyebrows in the business (audience cheering)
P: Well, they're big.
C: Those are serious.
P: They're big.
C: Look at that, I really believe that every time you come out, I think you're back stage with a magic marker, just they can't be real ...
P: Who told you?
C: No, but they're real, they're there. Just incredible brow hair, I just can't believe it.
P: It's all brow hair.
C: I have the Dick Gephardt problem of very light brow hair and it's barely there and I'm just like a round, pale melon.
But you, you've got, that's what the ladies like, they like those heavy, sexy brows.
P: They do, do they? Well, there's ...
C: Wait a minute that took too long, too, folks they're like, Huh? No, but it's what he said, so Whoa!
Ah. But now it looks, well that's the thing, does anybody think, this is getting weird. I shouldn't even go down this road.
Do people ever dye their chest hair, does anyone ever do that?
P: (puzzled) I don't know.
C: These things just come into my head, and it's ...
P: I don't know, I imagine you could dye anything if you wanted to. It hadn't occurred to me. I don't see the point.
C: When you said dye anything, the whole body is up for grabs, you could be dyeing things left and right.
P: I think the possibilities are endless, yeah.
C: My weekend just changed.
P: Mine too! Let's go to the salon!
C: So, Mr. Deeds, this is the latest Adam Sandler movie.
C: His movies do very well ...
C: People like these films ...
C: There was a big premier the other night, everybody turned out of course the paparazzi were there, taking photos and this is the picture that I see and it's you and Adam .... (photo displayed)
Now, what's happening here and when are you getting married? What's that all about?
P: What an unfortunate picture ...
C: You can take it away, now, let's not let it stand, forever, it's disturbing me.
P: What an unfortunate picture. Well, actually, I was practicing an exotic mind technique, there I was trying to pull from him his secrets for his phenomenol success and all I got was, "Go away, you're scaring me, go away."
C: You know, it's funny, the paparazzi, what they like to do, they don't want a nice shot of you and Adam, I'm sure you were chatting ...
P: No, no, no, I was just delightfully saying, "Man, this is going to be great, this movie is great!"
C: "It's going to be great!," that's what you were doing? I don't see any way that you get to that photo ...
P: I know, I know ...
C: I've had a computer analyst go through it, I don't see how you got to "It's really good to see the movie, I hope it goes well!"
P: Actually, I was trying to distract him with my face while I stole his watch. And I came away, I didn't even come away with the watch.
C: It didn't work out, huh.
Now, Noises Off, we must mention Noises Off, quickly, because this is doing very well.
P: Right, it's doing great, we've been doing the show since September on Broadway and we're down to our last 3 weeks with this company and then another company is going to come in, still doing 8 shows/week, packing the house, people are roaring ...
C: What is the reaction you're getting from the people on the street, because New Yorker's will tell you, they will tell you how you're doing, they're not shy.
P: Well, it's, you know, the amazing thing about the show, the first act is all set up so people are sitting there, thinking, "This is the funniest show in N.Y.? These people don't even know their lines." And then, after the second, at the intermission, it's gets crazy/funny and people make sounds, I mean, crazy sounds, unguarded sounds, but a couple ...
C: You're describing laughter to me as though I've never heard it.
P: (Nods head, sheepishly, audience laughs) Come to Broadway, Baby! Let us show you what it's like!
C: I'm not saying you're wrong ... just saying that's kind of sad. There's this thing people do when they're amused.
P: It's explosive, it's infectious!
I mean, they're not laughing, how can they not laugh, they're odd sounds, I mean they're embarassed, the people that come with these people, they're mortified.
I had a couple stop me, I was at the coffee shop, I was having lunch, and a couple came up and said, "I just want you to know my husband and I (and he was standing right there) came to see your show and we are not big laughers, we don't laugh much at all." And, um, the husband said, "She's right, we're really not big laughers at all, but I've got to tell you something, we made sounds out there that we are not proud of."
C: A strange thing to say.
P: No, but it was really spoken with affection and praise.
But it was lovely and it's going great and people are laughing and enjoying it and that's good.
C: Before we go, Mr. Deeds, I want to show a clip from the show.
C: Because I just like promoting movies.
P: Me, too. It's a great movie, I love this movie, it's a funny movie.
C: What do we need to know to understand the clip? This is Adam, no you do it, you were in it.
P: OK, so I've got Adam, "Come on, how do you do it? How do you do it?"
Uh, I play the CEO of a big media company, the founder has just died, I'm poised to take over, be King of all Media and it turns out, we suspect that there's an heir that's going to inherit his $40Billion, which is fine as long as he doesn't take control of the company. That way, I can pursue my path to, you know, greatness. Now, this is trying to find out if somebody out there is going to get the founder's $40Billion, of course it ends up being Adam. So, I'm talking to my associate, here, played by Erick Avari.
C: Let's take a look at the clip from Mr. Deeds.
P: I think this is the one. (clip plays)
C: You do a mean guy, very well.
P: I'm a mean guy.
C: You're a good mean guy.
P: I'm a mean guy.
C: Noises Off is now playing at the Brooks Atkinson theater right here in New York City and of course, Mr. Deeds opens next Friday. Peter Gallagher, it's always a pleasure.
P: I'm in the facial-hair phase of my career.
C: We'll talk about that, we'll be right back with Doug, stick around.